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I Have Had A Nosebleed Every Day Since You Died (Bonus)

from I Have Been To The Future by WOE.BEGONE

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about

This song is about my cat dying. She was my best friend and it hit me really hard and I had to keep writing songs and doing the show while I was recovering. The result was some difficult but ultimately worthwhile (I think) pieces. The tempo changed between chorus and verse are jus disordered enough to capture a feeling without derailing the song.

lyrics

I have had a nosebleed every day since you died
and I don’t think that it means anything.
Pathetic in a way I have criticized others for
feeling guilty for laughing or not laughing
for worrying or not worrying
for resting or working
rushing to write things down
time is so corrosive now
I’m starting to forget the way things worked
it was all too simple
the muscle memory
atrophies away
until there’s a day where I am happy but I don’t think of your face

I wish it was uncertain but it’s not
Billions of years

I have had a nosebleed every day since you died
and I know it doesn’t mean anything.
Casually endangering myself
not looking before crossing the road
as cosmic protest to a cosmology I don’t accept
call it “soft suicide”
but i’m scared that I’ll never die
or that I’ll die tomorrow
and nothing in-between
it just feels so useless
to progress
knowing slates are wiping clean
and even if I see the future
I won’t know what it means.

credits

from I Have Been To The Future, released September 2, 2022

license

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